Thursday, May 5, 2011

Home

Sometimes I just daydream about when we will be able to buy a house and make it a home..What colors for the couch, curtains, bedspread..What brand of pots and pans I would like..What theme for the babies' room..etc,etc,etc..

I am somewhat angry that we both do our best to be good people, good parents, good friends, etc and we can not even have a home for the babies. Even more frustrating is that the reason we don't have this ability is because I have married a man who is SO honest and good-hearted that in an attempt to fix a mistake he previously made, we have been separated indefinably. (And furthermore a mistake that actually didn't even originate from a selfish bone in his body) And the ending result from this drawn-out attempt?-That we can not even have a stable home for our two little babies who deserve everything in the world. I
hate it.

In all honesty-I would love to even have an old junker to fix up...Curtains, a couch, kitchenware, towels, siding, flooring, etc...I would really really love that. I think if we were parents who didn't put much into being parents, I may would feel different..But we aren't parents who go out and party or even would go on dates and leave the babies with a babysitter..Ever. From day one we have given it our all to provide a morally and emotionally stable environment for the kiddos..And it is so infuriating to feel like there are such unreasonable boundaries to the provisions we have the ability to give to Orlando and Dyana. ESPECIALLY when I can honestly say Chucho is the most hard-working individual I have ever met.
I really do not like feeling helpless when it comes to what I can give our little family. Geez, we don't/never have wanted a hand-out. I would love if we just had the ability to work to have a home. And the way for this to be achieved is for my husband to be back here with his wife and children-where he should be.

Yes, he made a mistake in his attempt to come to the United States as an illegal alien. Yes, it was the only option at the time for survival for his family but he/I want to fix it. Yes, we have begged through a lot of paperwork and letters for forgiveness. We have shown he has a clear record and no addictions and would/did prove to be an asset rather than a liability to our wonderful country. What more can we do? We need him back here with us.

(In continuation of my rant...)Tonight I was watching this show called Cops and Coyotes..Obviously by the name it most likely is not the best option for something to watch right now if attempting to be even somewhat of a positive individual...If I am ever able to watch that show again it will be a long long long time from now. I found myself very critical of everything being said.

Anyway...I'm going through one of these week-or-so frustrated modes so I should probably end this here..!

2 comments:

  1. I share your wishes. Except I have my own home, this August will mark two years and I'm afraid of losing it. I don't want to put any money into putting our mark on it because I don't know how long we'll be here, will we be coming back, will my children get to grow up in the house that Mommy and Daddy built with their own hands? It makes me envious of the people who take little things for granted.

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  2. Wow. Yeah, I've heard of couples losing homes before because of separation/denial of 601 waiver. That's worse than where I am. And yes, for once in my life I'm envious too of people that take for granted being a family, having a home, etc. Do you guys have an appointment date now or still holding off for awhile?

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